Reclaiming Experience

This blog is a tool for recording my experiences as well as evaluating my day-to-day life. With my camera in hand, I will make meaning out of my life.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 31: Rants

So often when I come home I just want to think my thoughts.  I am so tired of writing papers, putting together projects, and all of the other mundane assignments.  Last night in my class we spent four hours working on an imaginary budget.  I am not very good at budgeting my own expenses, let alone a budget that a superintendent would do.  We were given no instruction on how to do this, and instead, muddled our way through the whole process (oh, and I was taught that I should learn to read by the professor).

I went to grad school to become a better teacher and open up options.  Instead it seems that I have eliminated the possibility for becoming an administrator, curriculum coordinator, or any other major leadership role.  I remember feeling so excited about running my own school the first term of my program, but I am so far from that thought now.

I've been feeling that school is set up so wrong.  When I think back to the number of experiences in school that had no meaning, I can't even remember them because they left no impact.  I worry that I do that as a teacher.  I try not to, but it is so challenging to completely avoid teaching something that students don't need because it is required that we teach it.  Sometimes I feel like we should go back to a trade program where people pick an interest and follow an expert.  

There are so many things that I want to change in the world around me, but I have no comprehension of how to accomplish it.  Why can't I love something and just do it?  And if I want to change my mind, I can't without going back to school or throwing money for something else that I might change my mind on.  A society couldn't function that way if we all felt that was how we all felt.  I just wish things weren't so permanent.

What a random blabbing on this blog.  At the end of the day I have to consider all of the moments that make me happy for the life I live.  Sometimes I just have moments where I want more.  Is it so selfish to want more in this only life that we live? 

For now, I just want my bed.

1 comment:

  1. I really agree. I am going to list the top ten things I remember doing/learning/creating in school (grades K-12).

    1. I remember creating a plan for a road trip to visit national parks complete with directions (not through the internet --ha ha ha), an itinerary, costs for gas, food, etc...

    2. I remember my freshman Biology teacher asking us to turn in an assignment during the first week of school and only one kid had it because the teacher had not told us, we were supposed to have read this in the syllabus and known.

    3. I remember writing stories of my own choosing for the Young Author's contests.

    4. I remember reading about Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and taking a week long field trip to Hannibal, MO.

    5. I remember having a dot-to-dot coloring worksheet handed back to me over and over again in kindergarten because I was "doing it wrong", but I didn't know what I was doing wrong, so I just kept doing the same thing.

    6. I remember having my Mom call me in sick for dissection days.

    7. I remember making a huge 3D paper mache letter J in art class and splatter painting it.

    8. I remember creating a business plan for a new dance club that my friend and I were going to open--complete with a location, a business card , a slogan, etc... (same class as the national parks trip)

    9. I remember going to Great America for physics and having to make sense out of the roller coasters.

    10. I remember the funny stories my chemistry teacher would tell about "inertia baby" and how he used it to slide his girlfriend towards him across the bench seat of the car back in the day...

    There seems to be a pattern there with outside of school experiences and things that I might actually use/do something similar today (business plans/road trips). What about you?