Reclaiming Experience

This blog is a tool for recording my experiences as well as evaluating my day-to-day life. With my camera in hand, I will make meaning out of my life.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 238: Lots of Thoughts

So I've spent some time today trying to catch up on my blog.  I've been taking the pictures everyday, but I haven't been writing everyday.  I'm at a point right now where I am not enjoying this as much.  

I started this blog because I was going through some challenges earlier this year and I needed something to look forward to each day that I could do for myself.  It forced me to get out and try to make something of each day.  It was all working out great and I even wanted to continue on after this year.  

Once my big trip started, it became overwhelming to try to catch up.  So I cheated and didn't write like I normally would, but just did a "best moments."  Really all I want to do is write about the trip and work on improving my writing.  I know that I can do this through the practice with writing in my blog, but by the end of the day, it feels like I have to force it and I just want to get it done with so I can go to bed.  But I'm not giving up yet.  

Truthfully, I think I am unhappy with my blog right now because my life doesn't feel very exciting right now.  It would be nice to think that teaching is my new adventure, but it is my job.  I just don't think I am one of those people that can be as excited about my job as other things I truly love to do.  I need to figure something out because I know how happy I can be, and I am not there.

Right now I am reading a book about a woman that moves to Paris after her husband dies.  I used to think that I could never live in Paris.  A foreign language, big city, and the distance all made it seem unrealistic.  Now that I have been able to spend more time in the City of Lights, I do think I could live there, or maybe even should live there.  As I sit on my couch right now and write in my blog, I try to imagine how things could be different if I was in Paris.  First of all, I would have taken an early morning walk in the Luxembourg Gardens.  I might find a chair to sit at for awhile and take out my journal to write.  On my way back to my apartment, I might grab a demi baguette and cheese to enjoy on the Seine.  I'd probably pick a spot on the quai by Notre Dame.  After my extended lunch, I think I would go up to Notre Dame and gaze at the tourists.  If I'm feeling especially bad, I would step over to the next island to grab a glace (ice cream).  From there, I think I'd take a nice stroll home, stopping at the markets to pick up produce for dinner.  

The truth is, I don't think I could ever get bored there.  As I read what I just wrote, I try to figure out if I can recreate this here, and I don't see how.  First of all, I can't think of a city that has everything Paris has to offer (parks, sights, architecture, history, food, people, and easy access to other great European Countries).  Sure I could have gone to a park this morning, farmer's market, and grabbed some ice cream, but it is so different here.  I'd get in my car to go to a park (and it wouldn't compare to the Luxembourg), then I'd get in my car to go to the farmer's market, then I'd get in my car to go find some ice cream.  I can't just stroll.  Part of what makes Paris so great is not just reaching the next stop, but all of the beauty you can see while walking.  Every moment seems like the best.

So maybe I could move to Paris someday.  I always talk about it being an "if I win the lottery" kind of deal, but maybe it doesn't have to be.  I wonder what work is like there.  I wonder what it would be like to be a teacher there...  Maybe I should reconsider being a tour guide...

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